Complete Guide to Nairaland (Madness, Money & Laughs)

I am not sure why I joined Nairaland in 2011, however, I knew I had been visiting as a guest for around three months. If there is one main event which made me join, it had to be because of the NYSC back then. I was on schedule to serve the next year and needed to know about life in the Camp. Of course, different people will have their own reasons for joining.

By the way, endeavor to check my NYSC journey here.

 

Registration

Registration was easy, you can register with your email here and choose a password and username, just like I did. However, don’t expect to be able to post immediately. You will be in a queue to close to a week or two before you can create new topics. This is only logical since the platform has become big. They were not interested in people who suddenly rush to create an account or even open another account to abuse the system. It’s not like this helps to stop spamming though, but it helps a bit.

Note that Nairaland will not ask you to verify your email address as most online platforms do.

Choice of Username

I was pretty much free to call myself anything and I believe you are free too. Nairaland system is sensitive to capital letters. For example, if you spelled your username as RubEN, the last two letters will appear in blocks just as you typed it.

You can call yourself anything

  • SmellingAnus
  • Goat
  • Fowl-Leg
  • Ex-convict
  • Mad_fellow
  • Idiot
  • I_am_a_fool
  • C in C

Anything you can think of and it’s not occupied, you can call yourself that. Absolutely no problem.

Some Nairaland slang

  1. FTC (First to Comment)

This is when a person is the first to make a post on a page that made it to the Nairaland front page. Some “mad” people are in the habit of celebrating it as though it some achievement and they will share money with them.

However, I am not sure. I could be possible that when the forum was still young; Seun, the owner, might have involved some financial inducement to lure people to the site. In such a scenario, people that made first comments on pages that the front page might have been rewarded in the past. That is not happening now, ever.

 2. Mod

These are the guys that are in charge of moderating the pages and topics that go to the front page. I can only imagine a situation where Seun give the mods a certain number of post that they must push to the front page every day. Rumour has it that you can bribe your way to the front page but no evidence to back it up.

Some popular mods are:

a. Lalasticlala

By a wide margin, this is one of the most popular guys on Nairaland. A lot more popular than the site owner itself. Rumors have it that he earns around 50k per month.

He is also known as the snake master and is always credited for pushing topics related to snakes to the front page. There is something about those snake topics though, they never ever age. New day, new snake topic, and I want to go see the picture of the snake.

b. Myndd44

This is a controversial one as he meddles too far into political topics. Taking sides shouldn’t be the job of a Mod.

c. Davide470

He is the guy in charge of the jobs section. One time, I had my topic which was well on it’s way to the frontpage removed. I sent him a mail and he replied, which was nice. Turns out it was the spambot that was responsible and talking about Spambot.

d. Spambot

The number one Mod on Nairaland is definitely not Lala. The Spambot is there to monitor bad words that are too often used on Nairaland. If you type a word like “sh*t”, the spambot changes it to “poo.” It can also ban individuals, and remove topics.

e. JustWise

This is the Mod in charge of the travel section. This guy has personally helped me before. There was a time I used a certain company to pay for my GRE exams and the money wasn’t remitted to ETS. This guy personal help ensure that this problem was fixed. I thank him. And yes, he is my favourite. Ok, maybe I am biased. Haha.

 

How to make the front page on Nairaland

  1. Create a topic about Snakes
  2. Create a topic about jobs but ensure you post multiple jobs in one topic
  3. Create a topic about Tonto dike, wizkid or Davido.
  4. Create a topic about any current political happening that involves the president but back it with good sources like punch or vanguard.
  5. Create a hot topic on time.
  6. Bribe the Mods!
  7. Steal Explorers moniker by hacking and create a topic.
  8. Ask Autojosh to post the topic for you.

 

How to get likes on Nairaland

  1. Politics

This is by far the most heated section of nairaland, a battlefield of blood and gore between the Zombies (supporters of Buhari) and the Wailers (the PDP supporters). The Zombies will always claim that the Wailers are a pained set of people who couldn’t come to terms with GEJ’s election lose. The Wailers, on the other hand, will claim that the Zombies are blind followers of Buhari who don’t have a brain of their own; they also believe that his only achievement has been the fight against corruption which Wailers believe is one-sided and has not led to any meaningful conviction.

Furthermore, the zombies believe that the country was plunged into Misrule by the 16 years of the PDP while the Wailers always countered that APC’s first term had brought unimaginable hunger in the land.

I usually just stay on the sidelines and watch them eat each other up.

To get easy likes in the section, just visit any topic that is still in page one. Write something in favour of either the PDP or the APC and watch your likes grow. Mind you, making a neutral comment will not help. Also, making a comment in favour of the PDP will fetch you a lot more likes than the APC (current state of things).

 

  1. Like for this person, share for that person
  • The topic is about wizkid, simply type “Like for Davido, share for Wizkid” and watch your likes grow like grass.
  • The topic is about Ronaldo, simple type “like for Ronaldo, share for Messi” and watch your likes grow.
  • Like for PDP, share for APC.
  • Like for Peter Obi, share for Osinbajo.
  1. Birthdays

Typing something like “guys, it’s my birthday! Can I get some love.” This will surely get a sizeable number of people liking you.

 

Useful sections of Nairaland that will make you money or save you money

  1. Travel section

The travel section is always buzzing with activities. The US section is by far, the top of the pack. Here you will find great insights about how to travel to a new place, the life there, passing Visa interview and a host of others.

In fact, if you wish to travel to a new place. First of all, visit the nairaland travel section and search for threads related to that country.

This section will save you a lot of money. You can take that to the bank.

  1. Jobs

Lots of jobs are posted on Nairaland every day but it is not ideal for blue-collar jobs. If you want jobs that are not advertised on the web, check this nairaland link. If you want literature or writing-related jobs, check this link.

Blue-collar jobs posted on nairaland are grossly inadequate though and you are better off on HotNigerianJobs, MyJobMag or our own 825Jobs.

  1. Money

You can learn secrets to making money on nairaland and it is all spread out on different threads. If you wish to learn how to make money as a freelancer, visit here. If you wish to lean to secrets to making money by publishing on Amazon, visit here. If you want to buy and flip websites, visit here. Withdraw your freelancing money with this person here.

  1. Website owners

The webmaster section is also useful to some extent for those who have websites. You want to learn how to fix some WordPress or blogger issue, just start a topic. If you want to buy AdSense, there are lots of sellers. If you want to hire a web developer, there are lots but I can’t personally recommend.

  1. Programming section

This is another useful one for those who want to learn one programming language or another. There are also threads to learn HTML, CSS and JavaScript.

 

Some Favours Monikers

  1. Explorers

This guy is very poplular and all his topics goes straight to the front page; he earned it though. He pretty much visits some interesting websites and grabs texts and pictures that he posts back to nairaland. Yeah, dude is a just a copy and paste guy but this is not to mock him, in life, you don’t always have to kill yourself; you just need to do the common things in a different way.

 

  1. NwaAmaikpe

Dude has a foul mouth and he pretty much has built a reputation for himself. A lot of people argue that he should be banned which I pretty much believe is rubbish. You don’t ban a person because you don’t like him. If you want to get him banned, look for relevant Nairaland rules he broke and build your case.

In any case, the dude is far too valuable to Nairaland than all those who call for his ban put together. But I have something to tell this guy, you don’t fool me one bit, I know you are an intelligent and well to do guy acting the clown.

Don’t think he is a complete idiot. The guy appears as someone who reads a lot online or offline, who is current, who knows about topics related to culture and religion. He just happens to have a twisted mind (or is it all a ploy?)

 

  1. Omenka, TemiTemi, Pa Chukwudi, MannequinGrills, Sarrki

These set of people are the “attack dogs” of our politicians. They will blindly support any politician, you have a feeling that they are being paid to be on Nairaland. Rumour has it that the BMC Crew go home with a princely 30k per month. Yeah, I call it that because the PDP guys go home with nothing especially since their party lost the presidential election. 30k is better than nothing if you ask me.

I love you guys, Nairaland will be boring without you.